Problem Attic. Insert witty tagline here.

Art

(This is the first in my Suggestions Box series.)

Today I’ll be answering a question from Stan, who wrote:

Why are the Street Fighter Alpha movies so disappointing?

Stan, here’s your answer.

Why are the Street Fighter Alpha movies so disappointing?

Firstly: let’s face it, a film will always struggle to imitate the narrative perfection and sublime characterisation that fish-and-chip shop arcade machines offer. I mean, that scene where that guy beats that other guy to a pulp and then does his victory move — that’s humanity, that’s triumph over adversity, there. Sure, it’s portrayed in pixels the size of your thumb, with about 3 different colours to choose from, but I’ve always said that constraints breed genius. The graphical limitations, in my humble opinion, simply served as a catalyst—an inspiration, if you will—to the writers and the voice actors, whose lack of recognition in the sphere of the arts is, quite simply, a crime of gross negligence.

So, to answer your question, Stan, you were bound to be disappointed. Your mistake lies not in expecting a beautiful, emotive experience from the film adaptations—by any other standards, the films are a meeting point of the divine and the human. No, your mistake lies in the fact that beside the perfection—the sublime transcendence—of the games, any work of art would pale. I sincerely believe that Michelangelo himself would have wept had he beheld the Custom Combo system, and Chuck Norris is reported to have based his character in Walker, Texas Ranger on the character of Akuma (the game version of course; the movie characterisation was shallow in comparison). Of course the films were disappointing; one cannot better perfection.