Problem Attic. Insert witty tagline here.

An Argument for a Wife on the Field

Or “Why not to go overseas as a single person.�

Kelly talks about boys who are obsessed with getting hooked up before they head overseas to the field. While I completely sympathise with her point-of-view, and think it’s dangerous to make your heading overseas conditional on “meeting the right person,â€? there are a few reasons why it might not be a bad idea.

1. Single Guys are Trouble

Our lecturer in cross-cultural studies has mentioned a number of times two facts regarding single people on the field:

1. Single women change the world.
2. Single men are trouble.

Apparently, when single women go out to the field, they get on with the job, they work hard, and they do an awesome job. When single guys go out to the field, generally speaking they just cause havoc. I don’t *plan* for this to be me, but I can only hope.

2. “I work with prostitutes�

This is the one that really worries me. There are two ways things could happen:

1. I get married before I head overseas. With my wife, we figure how we’ll deal with the fact that my work over there will involve a lot of interaction with women either currently or previously in the sex trade. We talk about it, we maybe put certain rules in place, and it’s okay.
2. I’m still single when I head overseas. I’m still single when (if?) I come back. I come back as a single guy who has spent 5 years working with sex workers in Asia. That’s some hella complex dynamics to overcome in any new relationship.

3. Propositions

A white guy marrying into the family is (apparently) the ultimate bounty for Asians (in the more specific sense of “people where I’m goingâ€?). As a result, if I’m single over there I’m going to get *so* hounded by families wanting me to marry their daughters.

In addition to this, I’m going to have to be so much more careful about social dynamics than if I was married. I’m going to have to learn a whole new courtship system, simply so I’ll be able to see it coming and avoid it. So complicated!

But in reality…

Unless something particularly majestic happens, it looks pretty likely that I’ll be heading to the field as a single guy. So the above, rather than being “good arguments to get married nowâ€? are more of a list of “these are things I’ll need to deal with.â€? Drat.