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Scattered Thoughts

June 2009

…on Darwinian fitness, on how it makes perfect sense in this place and time that I'm physically fat and slow, but sharp and agile in the abstract thought department…

…but how unsatisfying that is, which suggests that there's more to it than just survival…

…thoughts on meaning and how, if there is no divinely-given meaning thrust upon us, meaning is entirely ours to decide…

…and feeling the weight of that: that my life is exactly what I make of it, and I can't blame anyone else…

…and the question, always the question: "what does it mean to live well?"…

…and the swinging back and forth on my answer to "am I living well?"…

…is there a better way?…

…and the half-glimpsing of things that cause my breathing to quicken, my nostrils to flare, my eyes to widen…

there is a better way

…and the fog swirling back in, as the visions fade away…