People used to know how to insult one another

January 2007

People used to know how to insult one another:

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend… if you have one.
— George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.
— Winston Churchill, in response

From Reluctant Nomad's list of insults.

Christina commented:

Yeah, Winston Churchill was quite the master at brilliant zingers. There was one where he was at a posh function of some sort, and some lady remarked on him being fat, so he replied "Madam, I may be fat, but you are ugly, and I can diet". Of course, horribly insulted, she responded, "If I were your wife, I would poison you!", so he said "If I were your husband I'd drink it".

Good old 6th form history - that seems to be just about all I remember from it :D